Finding it hard to find my place. That's right its been a while since I last wrote on this wall, yeah like anyone's reading, or will read. Ill keep writing every now and then just for myself. I am now living in Puerto Rico and study here as well. Glad that the University of PR accepted me and all but am finding it difficult to fit. I'm living with my parents so I don't have to worry about rent. THANK GOD! I speak Spanish and have a great cousin at the same school, we chat whenever possible, which is a super relief. Classes are going well, my studies are always important to me so I'm confident in my GPA, but in truth I'm not feeling that this place will give me the artistic growth I crave. The Arts Program is to say the least the stepchild of the University. It sickens me to see it in such a state especially at such a university of high standing in PR. Here I am thinking that the Arts were being neglected in the states, things are a lot more piecemeal on this side of the territory. I will never forget that. The instructors are artists, but I don't feel the guidance is there. Most of the things in this one art class I'm taking are things I know already. The methods and techniques taught here are limited.  But they manage. That's another thing as well. Here, once they know you're from the states, they're friendly to you overall, but they will try to put you to one side as a foreigner. Sure Ive lived in Florida for the past 10yrs, but I was raised here in PR. So weird that in the states, I was considered Puerto Rican, but here in PR they consider me America. So where do I fit in? In both places, thank you very much. Also, if you're doing well, they will not give you a pat on the back, but rather smile a little smile of brief surprise tinged with jealousy. I know because I can see the un genuine from a mile away. So, yes ... overall every one is friendly but they notice when you make a mistake and are sure to point it out for their enjoyment rather than your benefit. Or maybe its a phase of adjustment that everyone goes through. Worry, anxiety, the works!  Now my wish is that they eventually accept the credits I have of my Associates Degree in the Arts towards a Bachelors here. They've unfortunately chose not to accredit therm, especially after so splendidly telling me that they were going to accept my credits at he very beginning. I saw red when the director of Humanities told me this  (months into the semester ... I KNOW!). I literally wasn't sure if I should curse him out then and there, strangle him after jumping clear across his desk, or pull a Godfather 3 assassin move (you know, when the dude dressed in black kills the other guy by stabbing him in the eye with his own glasses ... that's actually raw as hell). I know venting is good, but this was like the hoover damn, holding back a lot of s**t. Its not easy for me to deal with this. Sure, Ive got a very limited social life, no boyfriend, am addicted to movies, and am either in class, at home painting or doing homework, Im very focused on my education right now ... so if my edu is the principal thing right now... ive got to switch gears and make something else my "principal focus" cause this is making me literally ill.  However, this is something I got to get through and there's no giving up here, just moving forward. I felt like packing and getting outta here, but I came here for a reason and I want to give it my all here before I leave. I'm not leaving because of obstacles, they're everywhere. I'll leave till I find no other way of making my being here productive. Sometimes I feel like leaving, but I also feel like there's something I gotta do here before I go back. I don't like talking about doing things and then not bringing them to fruition, like I jinxed myself. So I'll say no more about my future but I still have hope for something here, I don't know exactly what it is but I'll find it. God first.